Having a baby is one of the most amazing moments of ones life, so why not have the President of the United States send your baby a greeting?! When I found out that President Barack Obama and his lovely wife Michelle would send Emma a greeting with their well wishes, I jumped at the chance to have one because I thought it would be such a great keepsake! Of course, they aren’t the ones who are actually writing and sending these post cards, but it’s still so awesome to open your mailbox to see a letter from The White House addressed to your little one. It takes a few months to be processed and sent out, but its worth the wait. The guidelines state that you can only receive a greeting within one year of the baby’s birth. Here’s where you can get yours: 

Baby’s Birth Greeting

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October is Down Syndrome awareness month, so what better time than now to tell you about my experience. I was 12 weeks pregnant then and totally clueless. I was so excited to be pregnant. A few months back I had a pregnancy end very abruptly and at that point I was just happy to be this far along. We had heard Emma’s heartbeat at 6 weeks and it was loud and strong! I could say that that day if forever stored under the “best days of my life” mental file. I trusted and loved my OB so when she told me that I had to go to a different office for a routine first trimester screening, I happily obliged. All I knew was that they would be checking for chromosomal abnormalities. I wasn’t nervous or worried. I didn’t even take my husband with me. I just got up one day and went to the office, excited that I would get to see the baby in the ultrasound.

The lovely ladies called me in and I practically skipped all the way to the ultrasound room. My tech was very sweet. She began the ultrasound and assured me that the babies heart was good and her stomach and intestines were all in its place and all that was left to do was to measure the nucal fold behind Emma’s head, right where her spine was. For those that don’t know, children with chromosomal abnormalities usually have higher levels of this fold. During the screening, they measure that and combine it with blood tests previously taken by your doctor. After they have all the information they need, they put it into a system that generates a probability for T21 (Down Syndrome) T18 (Edward’s Syndrome) and T13 (Patau Syndrome). Once my tech was done, she assured me that her nucal fold level was very low and that that was great news. At that point we were done and I took my sonogram pictures and went back into the waiting room.

A few minutes later, the tech, along with the receptionist came to call me in. I knew something was wrong at that point. They had very sad faces! They sat me down and said that “I tested positive for T21, Down syndrome”. I was shocked to say the least! The tech then explained that I had a 1/49 chance of having a baby with Downs. Her exact words were, “So basically 50/50”. Now, for someone who’s in utter shock, my math was not on point! 1/49 is not 50/50, but of course that’s all I could focus on. After that, they became very business like and began to quote a ton of dollar amounts that I needed to pay in order to meet with a genetic counselor. I sat there staring into space. Like the whole world had stopped for a few minutes. I then decided to leave. I politely said no thank you and that I would like to consult with my doctor before seeing anyone else.

I stormed out and called my sister and husband and of course my doctor. I cried in my car for a while and all I kept thinking was 50/50! It took my doc a whole day to call back and we talked about my options and we decided against an amniocentesis (where they insert a huge needle into your belly to retrieve amniotic fluid for testing). This would have been the most accurate 100% form of testing, but posed a small, 1% chance of miscarriage. This life within me was so incredibly precious I couldn’t live with myself if I lost her. Another option we were given was to do a simple blood test that would be able to tell us if there were any chromosomal issues and also tell us the sex of our baby. We chose this option since it posed no threat to Emma. It’s a fairly new type of test and only has a 98% accuracy rate. It was good enough for me! We went in on a Friday, had my blood drawn and had to wait 1-2 weeks for results. By that time, 3 days had passed since my initial visit for the screening. Each day that passed, while we waited for the results, was like a million years crammed into one day. I was afraid. I was afraid for her future, for my future. For how she would have to live in a world that isn’t very accepting of people with special needs. How she would possibly have to deal with a slew of health issues and if I was strong enough to be a mom of a child who needed lifelong care. I was extremely ignorant of people with Down’s syndrome and that made it worse because I only thought the worst. I now know differently. I see Insta friends with beautiful babies who happen to have Downs and all I get from them is that these children have brought more joy and love then anything else. It’s true that they are more alike then different. I wish I knew these things back then.

After a week, I got a text message from my doctor telling me that all was ok and Emma had a typical chromosomal count. We held off on knowing the gender so that we could have a reveal party. I was so happy I cried! I called my family in tears and told them that everything was going to be ok. The thing is that it was going to be ok anyway. I now know that having a child with Down syndrome isn’t a deathly diagnosis. It’s a tough one for sure but there are far worse things that can happen to you as a person. In some ways it’s a blessing and a calling from God.

I carry a bit of guilt with me now. I think of how blessed I am to be Emma’s mom and sometimes I remember how ignorant I was with what I thought I knew. We live and we learn though. I’m hoping that by sharing my story, I can help another Momma who’s in the same shoes as I was back when I revived such news. These are the things we sign up for as mothers. From the moment we conceive, we are faced with choices and options and worries and joys. It’s a roller coaster for sure but there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t thank God for blessing me with motherhood.

If you’d like to donate to the National Down Syndrome Society, you can do so here: http://www.ndss.org/Ways-to-Give/Ways-to-Donate/

THIS BEAUTIFUL DRAWING DEPICTING A MOTHER WITH HER CHILD WAS DRAWN BY @MOMISDRAWING

      So, If you know me, then you know that I hate the summer time! Yes, thats right…I hate the sun! Unfortunately, living in southern California really puts a damper on my love for cold weather and rain. With it officially being Fall, I was so excited to welcome all the pumpkin loving, PSL drinking, and sweater wearing, but what I was most excited for was to finally take my little one to a pumpkin patch. Last year, I was super pregnant with Emma during this time of year and I longed for the day that I would be able to have her in my arms while running through a field of pumpkins, and since God is so good, I finally had the chance to make this dream a reality. 

       We planned to go on a friday hoping that it wouldn’t be too crowded, but of course it was filled with field trips and schools of children running a muck! Before hand, I thought about what I would dress Emma in and after a million different outfit choices, I decided to keep it simple with a really cute fall floral onsie from Old Navy, along with some adorable brown moccasins, also from Old Navy. Since Emma has become infamous for her head bows, I had to snag a cable knit style from Baby Bling Bows (can find it at Nordstrom). 

    We visited the Irvine Park Pumpkin Patch which was set up so nicely. Admission to the park was $3 and admission to the patch was free. There was a lot of activities for older children, such as face paintings, carnival games, and a haunted house. The only thing Emma was really able to participate in (exept for all the picture taking) was the train ride. It was so sweet to have all three of us crammed into one seat on the train while cruising around the park. We got to see some turtles, peacocks, and even went through a haunted tunnel. All in all, Emma had a great time. It was a day I will surely never forget! 

Okay, so you got pregnant and carried your baby in the womb for nine whole months and now they’re finally here! You meet your little love bug and take a huge sigh of relief. You think to yourself, “Yes, she’s finally here and I can stop worrying about all the things that could have gone wrong with my pregnancy and baby”…..WRONG! Sorry to break it to ya mama, but all the psychotic worrying during pregnancy pretty much follows you right into official motherhood. Now, don’t get me wrong. Some moms-to-be are more relaxed than others, but the majority of friends and women Ive talked to have shared the same pregnancy and new mom anxiety that I’ve experienced. Heres the thing though, all the worry is really for nothing. From talking with my fellow mamas, Ive gathered the top four irrational fears that all moms come to face and am ready to reassure you that the things you are having anxiety over are totally normal and the chances of these worries becoming reality are very slim.

*Now with all that said, I must mention that if you feel like your new mom worries are a bit out of hand and are starting to take over your everyday life and perhaps interfering with your ability to take care of your baby, please make sure to talk to someone you trust. Although postpartum anxiety can be fairly normal and mild, it can also turn into a very serious condition that needs to be dealt with. If you feel like this is the case, make sure to mention it to your OB and try reaching out to a friend or your significant other. If you don’t feel comfortable talking with them, there are many support groups that you can join through social media and if that fails as well, you can always email me and we can hash out the details together. The great thing about being a mom is that you are now a part of a very special group of women who will understand where you are coming from. If you’re unsure about weather what you’re feeling is normal, click on the link to get more in depth information and check to see if your symptoms match with the ones provided http://www.postpartumprogress.com/the-symptoms-of-postpartum-depression-anxiety-in-plain-mama-english   

FOUR BIGGEST FEARS OF A FIRST TIME MOM (or any mom really)

• SIDS SIDS SIDS!!!! A.K,A. Sudden Infant  Death Syndrom- Before I ever thought about becoming a mom, I had never heard of such a thing. SIDS is basically when a baby stops breathing and dies with no real explanation. Its so terrifying to think about! Although new studies emerge each year about infant death, scientists have not been able to find a definite answer. Some infant deaths are contributed to suffocation from blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals, Others have been attributed to co-sleeping in an unsafe environment. Overheating has also been a contributing factor. As a new mom, its very important to follow basic rules for infant sleep. Heres a link for more information and all the Do’s and DONTs : http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/sudden-infant-death-syndrome/basics/definition/con-20020269 When Emma was first born, my husband and I would stay up and watch her sleep. We would count her breaths to make sure she’s breathing enough and even panicked and called her pediatrician one time when we thought that she was breathing “funny”. We soon learned that infants breath “funny” all the time. We were told that they might even stop breathing for a few seconds and that was normal! From then on, we made sure to follow some of the basic sleeping rules (no sleeping with bumpers, blankets, stuffed animals or pillows…no co-sleeping, no overnight sleeping in swings or rockers etc..) and tried to put our fears behind us. It was also very helpful to know the statistics of SIDS and how rare it was. According to the US Department of Health and Services, almost four million babies were born in 2010 and only 2000 babies died of SIDS. Now, if you’re like me and you like percentages, that translates into a 0.0005% chance!! I don’t know about you, but that made me feel a lot better. The odds are definitly in your favor. If you follow the rules for infant sleep safety, then you should rest easy.
• “I won’t be able to breastfeed”- Throughout my entire pregnancy, I thought about weather or not I would be able to breastfeed my baby. I had seen many women struggle with it and I only knew two friends who were successful at it. We all know that breast is best! Of course it is! Breastfeeding helps build baby’s immune system and provides antibodies to fight off illnesses and has a long long list of benefits including the fact that mother and child develop a special bond during the process. With all that said, we are living in the 21st century and thank God someone invented formula!!! Formula is the closest thing to breast milk and the only thing missing is the antibodies. Thankfully, the baby is born with tons of antibodies to begin with so don’t feel bad about giving your child the much needed nutrients from formula. There are lots of options in the supermarket from all organic and non-GMO to run of the mill generic store brand formula which are all great. Here is my take on this subject and you might not agree with me and I know that its a hot button issue but these are my opinions and we are all entitled to our own. If you’re having a very hard time with breast-feeding and its beginning to give you anxiety and you’re losing significant amounts of sleep over it, then I suggest you think about your options. For me, after meeting with breast-feeding consultants, having a newborn admitted to the hospital with jaundice, not having enough milk, having inverted nipples (sorry, total TMI), and also having physical complications from childbirth, I felt it necessary to end my struggle with breastfeeding in the first month after giving birth. All the pumping and sleeplessness mixed with the postpartum hormones was not working well with me. I felt that it would be better for everyone if we switched to formula. After the initial guilt, I started to feel like myself again. I wanted to be able to be the best Mom to Emma and that was what I was going to do. I started to notice that she was happier (cause she was feeding enough) and I was also going back to being who I was. For the first time since giving birth, I felt like I can finally bond with my baby because I was in the right state of mind. My point in all of this is that its ok to fail at something. There will be tons of other things we fail at as moms and its always a learning experience. The important thing is to try your best (super cliche but its the truth).
• “Ill drop my baby on her head!”- You always here the phrase/insult, “Were you dropped on your head as a child?” and I guess it sticks with you. In the first few months of life, babies are so fragile. They still have a soft spot on their head, indicating that their skull has not fully formed yet. I remember being fearful of other children approaching Emma and “loving” her too hard on her head, or tripping over a cord or toy while carrying her and accidentally dropping her. Well folks, I haven’t told too many people but it happened…I dropped her…ON HER HEAD!!!! She was 5 months old and hadn’t showed signs of mobility yet and while she was in her stroller for one second (seriously, one second!) I got distracted by something and took my eyes off of her. She was not strapped in because I was a rookie and I thought, “She can’t move yet, and I’m right in front of her…she’ll be fine”. Boy was I wrong! Next thing I knew, Emma did a summersault and I heard her head make contact with concrete! It happened so fast and even though I was right in front of her, I couldn’t stop it from happening. I immediately picked her up and she of course was wailing at this point. My husband was at work and I immediately dialed 9-1-1 and could barely tell the lady my address because we were both wailing together. Once the paramedics got there (took them two minutes!!), she was all smiles and after running some tests, they reassured me she was fine. I was so overcome with fear and shock that I demanded they take her to Children’s Hospital for further testing. I remember being in the ambulance thinking, “Ive ruined a perfectly healthy child because I was so careless”. I felt like the worst mom in the history of moms. Thankfully my sister and my husband were both able to meet me in the E.R. and it was nice to know I wasn’t alone. Doctors came in to evaluate her and again assured me that she was okay and that they couldn’t even find a bump. I was amazed at how resilient she could be. The doctor then gave me a lecture about how incredibly awesome the human body is and how easily babies can bounce back. Each time a new member of the health staff came in, they would tell me a story about mothers who brought their babies in for a fall such as this and that it was very common. Emma has been doing great after that (the Armenian in me says “knock on wood” and pinches her butt for good luck…yes these are THINGS! LOL). Moral of the story: you might drop your kid. Accidents happen and no one is perfect. Babies are resilient but we must ALWAYS be careful and for God’s sake, strap them into everything!!!
• “My baby isn’t reaching his milestones at the same time as other babies”- Ok, I gotta admit, I’ve been thinning about this one in the past few months. Emma is officially 8 months old and has no interest in crawling. I see friends from my mom groups who have almost 9 month olds who can practicaly running! I was a bit concerned at first but after talking to some seasoned moms and some super rational friends (Love ya Jen <3) I was happy to realize that all babies do things on their own time. Some children skip crawling all together and go straight to walking and other don’t walk until their well into their terrible twos. As long as its in a reasonable timeframe, I’d say that you probably don’t have anything to worry about. With all that said, if you ever feel like something is off and your child is for example: three years old, and not saying one word and your pediatrician is concerned, thats when you should seek guidance. I mean, that goes without saying right?! If you’d like more information, its always best to reach out to your Regional Center for more information. Just google: Regional Center Los Angeles, or Seattle…whatever city you are in. A number should come up and its a free service there for everyone to take advantage of.

Motherhood can be a challenge at times. There are so many wild emotions that go along with the job and its easy to get wrapped up in our feelings. The only real advice I can give is to try and concentrate on the good feelings instead of the bad. Instead of wallowing in a pool of anxiety and fear, why not consume yourself in all that love thats beaming from your little one? Like my dear friend Sophie says, “Nar, take it one day at a time”. She’s a twin mama and if she can do it, so can I and so can you!